Ask almost any 80’s or 90’s baby who grew up in a traditional Haitian household during this era, and many can attest to the undisputed 3 L’s of growing up Haitian: Legliz (church), Lekol (school) & Lakay (home). Let’s briefly explore the meaning of each one.
Growing up in a Haitian household
Legliz (Church)
If you didn’t already know, most traditional Haitian parents of this era are very religious, to the point where there’s not much of a debate to be had about it.
Many of my fellow Haitians can attest to the all-day affairs that were morning, afternoon, and evening church services that typically filled your entire schedule on most Sundays. And let’s not forget the pregame that happened on Saturdays leading up to Sunday church service.
Depending on your religious faith, you were probably in church most days of the week for bible study and choir practice, all in preparation for Saturday or Sunday church service.
Almost everything you did revolved around being obedient to your religious faith, staying active in one of the church’s youth ministries, and making it a priority to study the scripture every chance you got.
Lekol (School)
Before we ever knew what a 9-5 was, it was clear to most young Haitians of this era that your first and only job was to always be on your best behavior & get good grades in school and boy were the expectations set high.
Many Haitian kids that grew up during the 80s & 90s era were constantly reminded that the goal of academic excellence was to ultimately become either a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.
I suppose that nowadays, Haitian parents who take a more modern approach to parenting may be more supportive of several different career paths but back then, the clear expectation was to end up in one of the three careers mentioned above.
We can laugh about the crazy high expectations now, but performing exceptionally well in school was no laughing matter back then. These attitudes may have changed over the past few decades, but this was pretty much the standard back then.
Lakay (Home)
What can I say? Haitian parents always assumed that you would be the safest and most productive at home. The thinking was that the more time you spent at home, the less likely you would get into trouble.
Activities such as going out to the movies with your friends or hanging out at the mall after school at your leisure were foreign to most Haitian kids growing up in the 90s and early 2000s.
And when you did partake in these sorts of social activities, it was typically under the careful supervision of your parents or extended family members, and not because you felt like doing so at your discretion.
And besides, many Haitian parents just assumed that you didn’t have time to be anywhere else but home; how else could you focus on getting straight A’s and mastering the depths of your religious scripture?
Haitian Parents
Let’s be clear, this was not the lived experience of every Haitian kid who grew up during this time period, but it was pretty similar for many of us.
I suppose that being the children of immigrants who sacrificed most of what they had to seek a better life for us in a foreign country wouldn’t have expected anything less.
Whether or not the philosophy behind the 3L’s genuinely served its purpose, many of us can identify with the nostalgia that came with growing up during this time, and how it shaped our cultural, moral, and social viewpoints on many facets of life.
Why are Haitian parents so strict?
To the casual outsider, it might seem that traditional Haitian parents were very strict or overly protective. And maybe they were, but I can truly look back and say that it was ultimately driven by the hope that their children would grow up to be upstanding citizens in society, and ultimately strive to create lives for themselves that they could have only possibly dreamed of.
Perhaps what came off as strict discipline was nothing more than tough love to prepare us for a world full of twists and turns at every corner.
All in all, these are the 3’Ls of growing up Haitian that most natives refer to when they reminisce on their childhood upbringing.
As we learn about and celebrate Haitian Heritage throughout May, I thought writing an opinion piece on the shared experience of many of our cultural upbringings would only be fitting.
Hopefully, this article added just a little bit more insight into what you might have already learned about Haitian Culture.